You know, old people have a tendency to talk about their memories or of other they know, they lose the rhythm of the conversations they are a part of. That, i guess, happens a lot before they are about to die. With or without the death clause, they also, i think, get bored and lost both, of speech of it all. We see the body but the mind rusts along too. The weaknesd is very wholesome. It is blurry vision that keeps going off, slow pace and weakness and being lost. It is very imminent in me and very noticeable by the people around me too. It is not only the weed, i know. It is more in my willingness of it all. I think i am about to be dead. What is sad is i cannot kill myself. I can just die and remain dead like that. And i have no idea or imagination of how long i would need to wait here. Leave my body here, dying, decaying.